Seriously, I am so in love.
These boys rule my life. My energy, thoughts, emotions, and actions are all put into their very livelihoods, and I love it. Every squeal, giggle, coo ... my heart does a dippity-doo!
It's hard to imagine that one day, these two little rascals will be strong men taking care of their mama and not vice versa. I've asked my mom, "How do you go from kissing your kids' adorable cheeks incessantly every time you see them, to just casually saying hello when they walk in the door?". Thankfully, she answered, "In stages."
Like everything within this parenting world, there have been God-placed stages so that each transition isn't so abrupt. Having 9 months to process you will be having a baby before having him/her, going through the crawl-to-walk-then-run progression, breastfeeding-purees-solids-normal eating, etc. There is a natural progression to things, and again, thankfully, we don't wake up one morning after skipping some steps!
Even though both of these cuties are still very young, I look back on some of the stages they've already went through and get sentimental about it. For example, Judah used to fall asleep on me all the time. Now, I'm lucky to get a few-minute cuddle because he's an energetic little man! It's funny though. I am sad about it, but happy all in the same breath. It didn't make sense to me until I was talking to my mom about it (she's so smart!).
She related this "mix" of emotions to the example of her adult children moving out. Her reactions were pure excitement that her child was forging a way, being independent, growing. But when the day came for them to move, it was sad, hard, nostalgic, among other things. Yet, that "sad" moment is only just that ... a moment. Whereas the excitement to see new paths being taken doesn't get old, it out weighs the bitter, and it comes so naturally - without even trying for it to be that way.
I'm realizing that the term "bitter-sweet" is said in that order so that the taste left in your mouth isn't bitter, but sweet. That there will always be these "bitter-sweet" times in life. But usually, the bitter parts will last for moments compared to the long lasting sweet from the result of situations. My nostalgic, reminiscent thoughts are normal and ok to have, but almost guaranteed, I'll be more stoked than sad that my kids are learning and moving forward.
"When life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate.
And when life is bitter say thank you and grow."
pic pix: my matching boys (shirts from Gigi), Jan.2014, on the living room couch