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Judah West: Your imagination is amazing.  I hope you never lose touch with it.
Hunter Elias: Your need for adventure is riveting.  May you always put the "epic" in what you do.

52 project

Though I have not been consistent with posting the pictures for the 52 Project, I certainly have been taking a photo/portrait of the boys every week.  But, instead of filling up an entire post of multiple weeks (ahem, 10!), I have published them on the sundays of their concurrent weeks.  Here are the links to the old/new posts:

| 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 |

pic pix: my handsome fellas, Sept.2014, in our backyard

conversations lately / my prize

After much anticipation, we were finally able to meet our friend's baby girl, Nia, the other day.  She is such a beautiful baby and the most darling thing to hold (at the stage she still sleeps on you ... and snuggly, ahhh!).

In getting ready to go visit them, this is the conversation Judah and I had:

"Hey Judah, do you remember Auntie Linda?"  I ask.
"Yea."  Judah answers.
"Remember how she had a baby in her tummy?"  He nods, "Well, now her baby is out and we get to go to their house to see her!"  I say with much excitement.
A huge sigh is breathed in, the hands come up to his mouth, and his eyes are as wide as saucers as he replies, 

"My prize!"

pic pix:  my beautiful friend Linda, Nia, Hunter and Judah, Sept.2014, at their house

our weekend in pictures.

And what a great weekend I had.  Being outside, enjoying this last “summer” weekend, and being with my sweet boys and husband … really, after a weekend like this, I cannot feel anything but gratitude and so so fortunate to be living this life I have.  From little teaching moments, to hours exploring with new friends in the corn maze, every moment is truly worth viewing as a gift.

 How were your weekends?

1. hanging out

2. oak leaves hanging out too

3. at the corn maze.

4. such a beauful day

5. friendships old and new

6. in need of a scarecrow?

7. our beautiful new "spot" to adventure

8. season planning and games

9. freshly fallen leaves

10. Judah mastering "construction"

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Judah West:  Every type of machinery intrigues you.  To whomever thought to add these "diggers" to playgrounds, me and my son are very grateful.

Hunter Elias:  Just recently, you allowed us to swing you in the swing (and not just sit there, content, kicking your legs).  Each time I take a picture of you, the more I realize how much you are growing up.

i get to choose.

Life.

A simple, four letter word with so much weight, meaning, and expanse to it.  It means the opposite of death.  The distinguisher between something dead or alive.  An adjective that means to be have a "spring in one's step".  The word that describes the action of breathing each breath, conquering each hurdle, feeling each emotion.

Sometimes, I get so caught up in other people's lives, that I forget that I get to live my own.  If it's comparing, longing it were just that little bit different, or taking more time to observe someone else's life, etc ... I can waste my own precious time pouring into that which I do have.

Everyone's life looks different.  Period.

Yes, there are components that definitely look the same and areas that overlap a lot more into some people's day-to-day workings (i.e. same job, same church, same school, same favorite coffee, etc).  But for the bulk of who we are, there are is no mirror image to yours.

Before I shaped you in the womb,

   I knew all about you.

Before you saw the light of day,

   I had holy plans for you ...

      Jeremiah 1:5

The moments I have to breathe are vital and only mine.  I get to choose what and how I fill them.  If there is something I am not liking, I get to choose how that I can change (mainly speaking about my attitude here).  When I am overwhelmed with stuff that just seems to fill and fill my time and rob me of the joy God intends for me to live life with, I get to choose if I stay in that state or not.

My life is just that ... mine.  Not yours, hers, or anyone else's.  God has a special and unique purpose for it, and I'm not going to let any one person/thing rob me of living it in joy.

Will you choose the same today?

p.s. a post I wrote a while back about how only I can be me.

pic pix: a wee bird on a wire, in the grand scheme of things - me, Aug.2014, at Matt's aunt's farm

none but jesus.

In the quiet, in the stillness 
I know that you are God
In the secret of your presence 
I know there I am restored
When you call I won't refuse
Each new day, again I'll choose

There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise

In the chaos, in confusion 
I know you're sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness 
You give me grace to do your will
When you call I won't delay
This my song through all my days

All my delight is in you Lord
All of my hope
All of my strength
All my delight is in you Lord
Forevermore
Hillsong United

This picture was taken just over 2 months ago ... not as I sit here in my kitchen at midnight, waiting for my cookies to bake!  

But something reminded me of this picture/moment as I've been baking to unwind from the day.  The knowledge that I can be restored whatever it is that I may be doing, whenever during the day it may be.  If that be having an "ahhhhh" moment as a butterfly lands in your hand or comfort food baking after a long day of discipling your toddler and trying to keep your teething 10 month old comfortable -- He (my Father, my Rescuer, my Savior) gives me grace and restores me.

God, my shepherd!  
I don't need a thing.  
You have bedded me down in lush meadows, 
   you find me quiet pools to drink from.  
True to you word, 
   you let me catch my breath 
   and send me in the right direction...
Psalm 23:1-3 The Message

There's no more perfect time or circumstance than right now to reach up to Him to give you power to overcome and be given revitalization ...

... and there's no one other than Jesus who can renew you to find this new strength.

pic pix: a pretty sweet creation miracle I got to be part of, Jul.2014, Fish Creek Park

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Judah West:  You love reading ... and finding little nooks!  (**sneak preview of the almost finished playroom!**)

Hunter Elias:  How are you looking so much like a little boy already?!  You love standing ... anywhere!

happy weekend, a green view & some links for you.

This week has been a crazy weather week for us ... snow days already, you say?!  Yes, unfortunately so.  I've been keeping green pictures on my desktop to remind me how great the snow is for our plants & trees(!).  

Minus some yard clean up this weekend, we are going to be celebrating my mom's birthday (even though it was in July!), checking out the new apartment my siblings are moving into, meeting our friend's baby girl (I seriously can't wait!), and working away on the "play room/space" that I have envisioned (hopefully get some pics up soon!).  It'll be busy, but I am looking forward to every part of it. 

Some favorite stops from this week ...

| diy bubble gum dispensers |

| i love me a good set of before & after pictures ... in love with those mint cabinets |

| this sweater |

| how the sun sees you |

| i'd like to get the boys these beanies |

| also, we'd like this knitted bean bag |

| i've been super encouraged reading this book |

| absolutely in love with this family's home decor |

| this butternut squash soup (with coconut milk) looks worth experimenting on |

| i'd like to give the game of backgammon another try - these boards are cute 1 2 3 4 |

Hope you all have a happy weekend!

capacity.

Do you get to a point where you have just had ENOUGH?  Where everything seems to come to a head at one time and that was the last straw/the bubbling over bit/the tipping point?  Oh, you never do?  Yea, neither do I...ha!  As everything in life goes through cycles, I feel like "patience" is one of those things I feel like I run a cycle with: very patient, somewhat patient, kind of patient, needing patience, what is patience? graced with patience, then I take a pause .... only to repeat.

Before we went on holidays, I was struggling with one of those last parts of the cycle - what is patience?  It seemed like there could be one thing, even the tiniest of problems or changes in plans out of place that would put me over the edge.  I felt like I was surrendering my issues to Jesus, but never felt like I had a reprieve from my hot-tempered emotions.  

Then I read this:

"It's impossible to give away something you don't have.  So to give God's love to others, I needed to receive it myself first."  Joyce Meyers, The Confident Mom 

Where was my love for my children and husband coming from?  Me.  How was I gauging what could or couldn't be done/changed?  From MY understanding and strength.

All from my capacity.

Don't get me wrong, I love my family like something fierce and there is not anything else I treasure so so so very much.  Yet, the most love, patience, peace, understanding, etc that I can give, can only go so far.  It has a ceiling.  A limit.  And here, the One I can turn to for an unlimited supply of love, understanding and patience is standing right here with me through life's challenges.  Offering to go beyond my capacity if I'd just receive it.

I realized then, that a lot of what was happening was because of my choice.  My choice to hold onto the "depths of my own love" not looking to receive love far beyond my own magnitude.

"And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.  No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord."  Romans 8:38-39

Knowing this, has allowed for incredible freedom as I love my little family.  As lately, I've faced some incredibly frustrating points, I am assured that even if I can't handle it, and my capacity does  have a maximum ... His doesn't.  And He wants to love me (and you) through everything.  All we have to do is ...

Receive it.

pic pix: a grainy shot of me and my Juju, August.2014, Sandpoint, ID

an afternoon drive.

The other Sunday we took a drive to a favorite little spot that we've been to a million times (it seems!) for a picnic hang.  Thankfully, it wasn't as cold as it is this week ... nor was there snow!  Yes, the last three days we have seen quite a lot of the white fluffy stuff!  Even though I've decided I will be happy in whatever season is coming our way (though secretly, I am not done with summer), these past few days have confirmed that I am not ready for winter yet!!

Anyways, back to our drive ...

We haven't been out to this specific spot since we had the big floods last year, and it is completely different.  The river has changed it's course, what was once a picnic area is not, caves are a lot deeper (with no water filling them), and the falls are nothing like what they used to be.

But, despite the changes, it was so great to be there with me and my guys.  Picnic dinner in tow, we parked right in what used to be the river rock base, and had our food.  Driving there and back was perfect as it lined up perfectly with the kids' naps so me and Matt were able to actually TALK!!  And the little walks we took, things we discovered, and conversations we had, were all refreshing and simply good.

So thankful for these little times.

pic pix: our Sunday afternoon excursion, 31.Aug.2014, Elbow Falls, Kananaskis, AB

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Judah West:  There's always a new game to play.
Hunter Elias:  Your face always has a new story to tell.

colorboard / no.32

color: black/white/wood/gold

word of inspiration: balanced perspective +PLUS+ ... I accepted the challenge from Chairish to style a board around one of their barstools for my "perfect home bar".  I chose to create a board with the theme for an outdoor patio home bar.  This collection, might I add, would be a dream outdoor bar for a certain someone's house. **also, it was hard not to add any wicker to this board!

source of word: You have to have a little bit of everything to achieve balance.  Similar to how when these colors and their varying elements (metal, wood, woven, gold-pressed, etc.) come together, it feels complete ... balanced.   

/1. i mean, if you're going to get a hammock...  /2. gold tumblers  /3. popcorn popper - yes!  /4. perfect industrial stools for the eclectic bar space  /5. i heart gold pillows  /6. smoky lights for those smoky nights  /7. the cutest little outdoor fireplace i ever did see  /8. wood S&P shakers  /9. dearly love this blanket  /10. pineapple ice bucket ... come to my house!  /11. the coolest black cutlery  /12. i can see many uses for this gold screen.  it'd be a practical purchase, no?!

nine months ...

It's only days before Hunter is going to be 10 months!!  Figured, I should post his 9 month blurp before then (just following the same "behind" pattern for every other month *face palm*).

It's been a HOT month!  I don't think there was one full day this entire month that I kept my clothes on all day ... it was awesome!  And, I got my taste of "the river" (as my big brother Judah calls it).  Not only did I get to feel the cool water on my feet (almost every day!), but also, I lapped up as much as I could into my mouth.  The river's got to be one of my favorite things now, for sure.

This month, I also figured out why Judah loves to play with trucks & BALLS.  Sometimes, he even plays them with me!  And, I'm catching on why he loves food so much too.  We went to my very first stampede breakfast and I got to eat some pancakes - delicious!  I'm going to stick close to my big brother for more tips like these ... he knows what/where the good stuff is at.

I am officially not the youngest cousin (on one side of the family) anymore.  Once my new baby boy cousin, Jaeger, can walk (or walk on furniture like I now do!!), we are going to take this town for a ride!  I just know we are going to be the best of buds and can't wait until we can play together.  Because he was born, we got to spend a lot more time with our cousins this month too.  They even slept over!

Speaking of sleep, before we went on our big camping trip, mama was so proud of the progression of my sleep.  She would tell e v e r y o n e  how I was now sleeping through the night and I loved getting that praise.  But sleeping in that tent trailer was hard, and some of those habits didn't really stick as a result.  I'm still working to get back to the same place, but still doing pretty good only waking once in the middle of the night (instead of the averaged 5x before).

As for out big camping trip, it was AMAZING!  Both mama and papa have said it, they think I was born to be outside.  To feel the dirt in my fingers (and mouth), have the sap in my hair, rocks in my hands and diaper ... is, well, awesome.  The sand on the beach was tasty, our campsite dirt floor, and moss and rocks on the forest floor also tasty.  Being outside, I'd never go hungry!  We did a lot of bike riding too, so Judah and I got a lot of time to spend with each other in the bike trailer.  Sometimes, giggling our heads off, other times, not breathing cuz papa was making us fly!

Loving the life of a 9 month old!

pic pix: Springv Point Campground, 05.Aug.2014, Sandpoint, ID