clean slate

Lately, I've had this "thing" with white.  White & cream, layered textures on my bed, milky winter skies, really minimalist home design ideas, soft baby blankets that are (yup!) linen white, white-washed walls, creamy lattes (though, I really shouldn't be drinking any milk)...maybe because it is winter and we haven't really had that much snow this year either (*knock on wood*).  Even my current favorite soap is simple & white!  I really don't know why this is, because by nature, I am in love with colors.  Bold, bright, and beautiful...COLORS!

But, there is just something so raw about white and the elements that fit so well with it.  It's pure.  It's clean.  Much like how I have been attempting to start my days.  A while ago, I wrote about a bad habit of mine...not putting things away.  Along with that unruly pattern, tag-teams the "starting fresh" routine that I haven't seemed to get into a groove with since we got married.

You see, for me, mornings are just not my thing.  Never have been.  Though lately, I've been trying.  Trying to consistently make the bed as soon as I 'jump' out.  Taking the dishes OUT of the dishwasher before I leave for work.  Reading/writing something while eating breakfast instead of just staring into space (though writing down my thoughts that early usually consists of a sentence or two in a 45 minute span...maybe!!).  Though, they are the smallest of steps, I have noticed an improvement in my attitude towards the day...having a clean slate to work from.

When I was taking out the trash today, it hit me how "grubby" I can let myself get.  If you think about it, the garbage bin itself really isn't that gross, it's just the bag full of stuff that sits in it!  As I've been purging my home and making room for baby I've had to ask myself, "..am I really that cluttered or unorganized of a person?".  The answer is no...I just hold on to stuff that I really don't need and have carried it with me for years - memorabilia, guilt, papers, habits...things that limit me from starting 'fresh'.  It's like creating a painting and trying to combine every color of paint I've have collected (with every single year/experience/memory/etc.) in my life.  All that will result is an ugly, big, brown mess!

More and more, I see the need to let go of all the garbage/clutter/habits that limits my perspective to be clear, pure, and clean.  It will get harder and harder for me to see the right colors glistening together, or to enjoy the simple beauty of unpolluted white if I don't oust the unforgiven thoughts, get rid of unnecessary items (tangible or in a memory), and attempt to clear my current vision of "mess".

How do you start from a clean slate?

By His divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life.  We have received all of this by coming to know Him...In view of this, make every effort to respond to God's promises.  Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone.

The more you grow like this, the more productive and useful you will be in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.  But those who fail to develop in this way are shortsighted or blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their old sins.  2 Peter 1:3-9

pic pix: latte from DeVille, November.2011, Calgary, AB

gettin tagged

There's something fun about meeting people in this blog world.  Learning about different lifestyles, personalities .. relating to people that you haven't met face to face!  Recently, I got this tag from a blogger buddy of mine and got pretty excited (well, extremely excited!),  as I've never participated in one of these before!  So...here goes nothing!

Rules:

1. You must post these rules. 
2. Each person must post 11 things about themselves on their blog.
3. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post, and create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.

4. You have to choose 11 people to tag and link them on the post. 

5. Go to their page and tell them you have linked him or her. 

À propos de moi:

1. I am a traveller ... Working for an airline "ruined" me!  Being able to just hop on a plance, whenever, to go wherever, gave me a bug to travel that I hope I will never lose.  I just wish I still had those airline benfits!
2. I love people ... If it be a stranger in a new country, or a long time soul sister, I thrive off of the stories and details that make a person who they are.
3. I love entertaining ... Hosting that is!  Having people over at my house, where I can feed them the food I made for them AND make them feel comfortable?! {sigh} the very thought warms my heart.
4. I have a passion for creation ... If you haven't already gotten that from my blurps on this blog!  Watching a soup transform with colors and tastes, making a blank canvas white-no-more, capturing the smallest details with my camera, diy projects, drafting floorplans ... I just really like to be creative.
5. I am weak when it comes to a good coffee or good cheese ...
6. ok, french pasteries too!
7. I am married ... to the most wonderful man I could dream of!  I am one lucky girl to be blessed with his love.
8. I enjoy running,m aerobics, yoga, and team sports (especially volleyball!) for exercise.
9. I am overly competitive and stubborn ... in good ways, naturally :)
10. I love music ... listening to it, singing or playing it, I find myself in a 'happy' place.
11. I have a collective ancestral background ... as are most North Americans!  From my Mom, I am 50% German; from my Dad, I am 25% Ukrainian, 12.5% French, 6.25% Irish, and 6.25% Native American.

Mes reponses ... from Calista's questions:
1. I’m giving you $20,000 to do with as you see fit. What would you do?

Put it towards buying a chunk of land closer to them Rockies...the distant window view is just not cutting it!

2. What’s your favorite book? 

The Great Divorce, by C.S. Lewis

3. Can you drive a stick shift? If so, how did you learn?  

Haha ... ask my husband!  I actually learned how to drive on a standard (until the timing belt came off while driving it!).  I attempted driving Matt's standard a few years ago, and he hasn't let me borrow it since.
4. Do you have an Instagram account? What’s your handle?  

Yes...yes, I do!  @sarahnadine7
5. What would be your dream job?  

I've got a few(!) 1. a photographer for National Geographic 2. a freelance writer/blogger 3. a retreat owner 4. professional traveller
6. What is your favorite piece of art?  

I have a picture sitting on my mantle of a horse, done impressionist style.  Never tire of looking at it.
7. What new band did you discover in 2011 that really got you dancing? Or at least toe-tapping?

Brooke Fraser isn't new, and this song isn't either ... it's just one I think I listened to over a million times in 2011!
8. What’s your favorite condiment?  

Mustard ... grainy, dijon mustard.
9. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry?  

My wedding rings.  I get to wear them all the time! 
10. What’s one thing on your “to-do” list for 2012?   

Daily find time to do something I thoroughly enjoy.
11. Do you use powder or liquid laundry detergent? Why?  

I use liquid laundry detergent.  It seems cleaner(!) ... with no powder spills to worry about.

Mes questions ... for the new 'tagees':

1. What is the greatest place you have travelled to?

2. If I were to walk into your fridge/pantry weekly, what is a staple food you "cannot" live without?

3. How do you wear your hair 75% of the time?  

4. What is your ethnic background?  Is your native tongue different than english?

5. What are the top 3 blogs you frequent?

6. If you could choose any era to live in, what would it be?

7. What is the kindest thing someone has done for you?

8. Why did you start blogging?

9. What is your best workout routine?!     

10. Do you have siblings?  If so, where do you place in your family?

11. What is one daily routine you do that "sets" your day right?

Tags: Alli, Candaci, Britt, Linda, Sara, Mariel, Crystal, Fawne

Happy tagging!!

pic pix: Hampton Inn Hotel, Edmonton, AB Jan.01.2012

uncover

I've always had this 'dream'/wish that I could've been an explorer.  Go back to the time when there were no maps, expectations of the terrain ahead ... be the first person to ever step foot on that soil.  Every time we head up to the mountains and find an area that is "seemingly untouched", I ask Matt, "Do you think some has walked here before?  Or could I really be the first??!!".  We both know the obvious answer to that question, but I am always hopeful at the slightest chance(!).

"Generations come and generations go, 

   but the earth remains forever. 
The sun rises and the sun sets,  
   and hurries back to where it rises.
The wind blows to the south  
   and turns to the north;
round and round it goes,  
   ever returning on its course. 

All streams flow into the sea,  
   yet the sea is never full.
To the place the streams come from,  
   there they return again.
All things are wearisome,  
   more than one can say.
The eye never has enough of seeing,  
   nor the ear its fill of hearing.
What has been will be again,  
  what has been done will be done again;  
there is nothing new under the sun.
Is there anything of which one can say,  
   “Look! This is something new”?
It was here already, long ago;  
   it was here before our time."

Ecclesiastes 1:4-10

As we've all heard before, "nothing is new under the sun".  Even though there's something so rapturing and exciting about discovering something no one has before, the ironic thing about an expedition like Lewis & Clark's, is that they weren't even the first to see what they saw ... they were the first to document and uncover it.


I feel sometimes, even the landscapes and explorations in my own life have been pre-felt and pre-experienced - either by me, or just a mirror image of what someone else has gone through before.  Though it's true (to an extent), it's usually in those blankets of time that I get overly discouraged and uninspired because I am not seeking to uncover and document the revelation(s) in my own journey.  I shrink away from being thankful, I silence the beauties shown to me daily, I hide in my own sorrows, I quiet the confessions that need to be shared...  


Though, essentially, there is nothing new under the sun, there are parts of me that need to be uncovered, exposed, and shared ... otherwise, I will never live in the beautiful discovery of my own life's exploration.  And that, my friends, is not how I want to live life!


I want to be open, revealing, honest ... uncovering the "new soils" in my life with joy, excitement, and purpose.  Maybe others have lived through it and 'been there, done that', but this journey is mine to adventure and presently explore.  There ARE new things under the sun ... the aspects of me that aren't uncovered!  


Will you uncover yourself today?!

pic pix: on a k-country walk with my bro; Kananaskis, Alberta, Jan.22.2011

where have i been?! and other random news...

Hello, little blog ... and hello, friends who happen to read my little blog!

Life has been so surprising, changing, unfathomable, and exciting lately.  Over the past four months, I feel like I've been watching someone else's life unfold, but have felt all of "their" emotions.  You see ... Matt and I found out that we are going to be parents come May 25, 2012!!

the day after we found out!

Yes!  This girl, who is continually seeking to find the object to view, learn from, and admire everyday is now gonna be a mama!  It hasn't felt real (okay, maybe being really sick and drop-dead tired) until recently when I actually heard the baby's heartbeat.  Now it's confirmed...I know I'm not just getting fat!!  It's been tough to adjust to a "me" that is different~not able to stay up as late, my energy is just not there, not feeling in control of what immediate goals we are working towards, etc~but I know in the end, this'll all be so worth it. 

So pretty much, in a nutshell...along with learning how to be pregnant (my own hormones that I've never met before!), and still shaping into what my role as a wife is, I've been working, finished up my plant class (a pre-course for the landscape architectural certificate I WAS planning to work on this winter), have gotten sick way more than I ever thought I would (morning sickness has taken its toll on me) and I'm still trying to find ways to outlet my creativity.  

Though, I haven't been blogging myself ... I've been reading through the blogs I follow every day, hoping that one day (yes, I am being a bit dramatic!) I will have the energy to at least once again, write a post!  **note: I even started voice recording my blog posts, so that I could get my thoughts out somehow!!**  I'm thankful that November was a month focused on being grateful...with American Thanksgiving and all.  Calista, Allison, and Fawne ... all wrote posts to keep me thankful.  Other blogs kept me reading for different reasons: Daily, Jo keeps me wanting to nest and shop.  Poppytalk inspires me to start projects and have an ultimate diy-christmas this year (watch for coming post!).  Cori makes me want to sharpen my photography skills.  Even though Baby Mine will no longer be kept current, they share some good ideas for baby items/advise and have some cute pictures documenting their baby's monthly growth.  Shelly's trip to Zambia served as a flash of adventure just reading about it.  Dear Baby began to open my eyes to different perspective of motherhood (I've got lots to learn!). Tereasa has the coolest methodology when it comes to treasure searching - found, free and flea!  So many great words and images that have blessed/encouraged/inspired me lately.  Now to get back on it myself!

And just for the sake up trying to 'catch-up', here are a the random updates of some other things that have happening these past few months...

We've been able to have some fun family times together.  My cousin got married in Ontario at the beginning of October, so all of my immediate family went there for the weekend.  We announced the baby news to them then.

cookies I baked to break the news to my family... all with the 'appropriate' name of course

my immediate family in Sturgeon Falls, Ontario)

had my 6th annual 'family' thanksgiving dinner with close friends ... ended up with a very blurry shot!

Hosted a bachelorette party for my girlfriend's wedding (that took place 11.11.11) ... so wish I could have been there...

you can see some of her wedding details/pictures here

Was able to get out for a "shoot" with my sister-in-law and her family for some fun Christmas photos.  They are all so photogenic ... and energetic!

Now with all of that said...I hope to be back soon to share some more!!

put it away.02

As proven in my last "accidental" post ... my habit of not "putting away" persists!  The other night, I left my "put it away" post open on my computer before I went to bed.  The next evening, my husband mentioned that he had read my recent post, and I was like, "What new post?".  We figured that he had read it from my "drafts" folder in Blogger earlier that the morning from my laptop.  But apparently, as my sister-in-law pointed out today ... unknowingly, the post got published!!  Without me having the slightest clue!  Not sure if it was me or my husband who incidentally published it(!) ... either way, it brought laughs on this end, because it very well exhibited how things can get kooky when not put away properly!

To continue my thoughts from the previous post ....

The more I have been thinking about "putting away" (time, things, etc...), it has dawned on me that that is exactly how I approach the idea of forgiving myself.  If I don't accomplish something the way it has played out in my mind and if I haven't reached all that I intended to do, instead of letting it go and putting away my disappointments, I become harder on myself and set higher expectations than initially.  Mainly, just so that I can make up for it.  It almost seems like I have to prove to myself  that I am capable of doing that which I originally envisioned before I can let it go and put that task to rest.

Just like my clean dishes are waiting right now to get put away, it's time I put away these essentially, self-created burdens, and start living with a clean, new to-do list and set of expectations daily.  Forgiving myself is hard to do.  Yes, even the small stuff can make me sweat.  But today, accepting my weaknesses will not put it off a day longer...but will be put it away.

How do you deal with this in your day-to-day?

pic pix: taking time for us, Highway 40, Kananaskis, Alberta, 18.Sept.2011

put it away.01

Usually, my lack of writing has been a result of "unfound inspiration" or lack of time ... lately, it has definitely been the latter.  How people manage to work full-time, be a good wife, be a good mom, be healthy (mentally and physically), enjoy the mountains, have a social life, still be a nice (not grouchy) person, AND blog?!  You people amaze me!!  Even during the days of our engagement, I had all of these plans to blog my wedding ideas and plans,  post pictures, etc. etc.  As you rightly saw, that never happened!  To those of you that do and have ... wow!

More and more lately, I've been sensing the urgency to "put time away".  Time to spend with my husband, MYSELF, friends...God.  Literally, the minutes tick away so quickly, and it's easy to just set things aside and not do them.  Because something in the moment comes up, I drop those "need-time-for" things and it gets put off for a while.

One of my worst habits is not putting things away (ironic?).  I don't mind putting dirty dishes into the dishwasher, but to put away the clean ones?  Eep!  Folding laundry...I actually love folding laundry.  There's something so "feel-good" about getting the creases to fold just right.   But to put those folded clothes away?!  Last night, I parked all of my folded clothes in the dresser that had been sitting in the basket for over a week.  How is this possible?!

The more I have been thinking about "putting away" (time, things, etc...), it has dawned on me that that is how I deal with forgiving myself.  What really is happening, is that I am not accepting t

what door?

A few years back, I went on an Ontario "Family & Friends" visit.  Pretty much, everyone that I knew in Ontario, I visited over the course of 14 days.  Pretty packed as I spent time with every person (!) but pretty awesome as I was able to go from T.O. to Ottawa to Missasauga to Hamilton to North Bay and Sturgeon Falls...

One day that I was in Hamilton, while my Aunt and Uncle were at work, I got up to some serious people-watching (guilty!) and curious wandering about.  I thought I had covered major distances until I plotted it on the map.  When you look on a map to see how far you have walked, it can be discouraging after walking for nearly 9 hours straight and only covering the distance of a few inches!  It was just on the fringe of fall and there were so many colors and old, interesting things to photograph on that sunny day.  I kept noticing a trend of aged houses that had their front doors painted differently than the next.  It wasn't until I was almost half-way through my trek that I started to photograph them...

Currently, there are some significant changes on the horizon for my work ... altering ideas exist,  but no actions have yet taken place.  My role will be changing again and certain dynamics of the company will be formulating from our big meeting this Thursday.  I am excited of the potential that this position holds, but I am also fighting inner "creative" concerns.  Although it can be exciting and new, am I limiting myself to not thinking past this one opportunity?  Am I really working towards my goals, my path, my direction?  

Right now, I am more than blessed to have this job and am so thankful for all that I have learned within it.  But, it's like I've reached the point of, "With the skills that I have and am interested in attaining, this may be as far as I can go here."  I feel it very difficult for me to see outside of the "building" and perimeters that I have put up for myself creatively and industrially during my day to day life ... it's like an entrapment and dissatisfaction of my own doing.

While skimming through old photos and trips previously taken, when I again saw these snapped doors, I thought to myself, "If only these were opportunities.  Colorful, whimsical, classy, stylish, yuppy, and trendy...what if I had the choice to walk through the one I felt like, when I felt like it?".  That's when it hit me...there can be no doors that bound me to stay inside and no doors that will lock me out of entering!  EVERY day, I have been given the choice (by privilege and freewill) to select the door of my choosing.

In a previous post, I talked about how there are opportunities waiting to be had ... right in front of us.  As long as we have our eyes ready to see these portals, I believe God will reveal them to us.  Visually, these doors remind me that I need to take a walk to look outside my own agenda and invite the adventure in and just not day-dream about it.  There is so much out there waiting to be discovered that I need to capture, analyze, and appreciate before I settle on a specific doorframe.

If or when you think that you are trapped within a certain perspective, rut, job, or attitude, seriously, just take a look around you.  Opportunity is not limited to one entrance, with a certain style or framework...

What door do you walk through today?  What door(s) exist around you?