juggling

Sometimes, I just wish there was another 2 hours of sunlight to spend outside, another 45 minutes to meet a deadline due right now, and, as I told myself this morning, another 3 hours to sleep after the alarm clock rang! It doesn't matter how busy you get, you always want to fit in one more thing. When you have "nothing" to do, you want to find something to do. And when you're too busy, you wish you had an extra minute to put up your feet and relax. It's comical what we long for sometimes, yet, I am seeing it is more of an ignored, subtle cry we have learnt to 'live with'.

Time will continue to move on, however you spend it ... how then can you budget for it? Lately, for me, life has been a question of balance. Not that I have no idea what that equilibrium is, but rather, I need to find this "even" existence. Between work, wedding plans, quality time with God, m'Love, my family, my friends ... no time is spent rejuvenating myself, personal development gets halted, and before I know it, I don't know how I've spun through this cycle to lead me to 'tiredness'. The best way I can describe it is like a top. I spin and spin around and it seems manageable, but eventually I end up being pulled down by gravity. Everything has to stop because I am uneven after all these turns and can not balance upright.

Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance and order and rhythm and harmony.

Thomas Merton

Balance will be a forever subject I will think, write, and ponder about...it's finding the perfect symmetry of all actions - busy-ness to productivity, relaxing to procrastinating - and the equality of time quality - work, friends, family. Balance means knowing your priorities, you responsibilities, and your ambitions.

Balance, peace, and joy are the fruit of a successful life. It starts with recognizing your talents and finding ways to serve others by using them.
Thomas Kinkade

These guys have said it ... now, I gotta do it!


pic pix: m'Love balancing on a bridge, Many Springs, AB 19.Jun.10

another go, a new day

Once again, the aura envelopes us ... fresh air, new beginnings, crisp intentions ... a new year! Never have I really made resolutions for a new year, but I always anticipate this "idea" of starting anew.

A glimpse of what the year 2011 cradles for me ...

Our Wedding ...

Only 47 days to go! I can't WAIT to wake up next to him every morning, knowing that he is my husband and I am his wife ... taking hold of every moment we breathe together and discovering what our lives will become. Wish it was only 47 more minutes ... sigh!

Expanding my "Photo-World" horizons ...

Prospective business ideas are floating around (especially now with my new lil iPad!) I hope to soon share what these ideas and makings actually evolve into.

Home-making our home ...

Though, I have already moved into our new place and am starting to make it feel "homey", a part of this year will be establishing ourselves ... hosting friends and family and spending time here we will create and "make" our home.

Learning opportunities ...

My employers have graciously offered to pay for the schooling of any courses that are applicable to our field of work. I love absorbing new information, fitting more pieces of "the puzzle" together. Can't wait to dive into some new material!

Another birthday ...

You can't go through a year without hitting one of those.

Taking on new roles ...

Soon and very soon, I will be a:

Wife

Daughter-in-law

Sister-in-law

Auntie ... all persons I have never been though can't wait to officially be!

Creativity ...

I've always said, "if I only had a space where I could leave projects half-way through only to pick up again, I'd have allot more undertakings...". No longer is that an "if-only"... we have a second room that we are using as an office where I can set up for painting, drawing, paper-cutting, sewing and leaving it all where I last worked on it. I can craft anywhere, but to have this domain will be wonderful.

And though there are these things I look forward to (and more!), I believe the greatest challenge will still be to live in the moment I am in, enjoying all that today will exhibit, seizing every opportunity effectively and purposefully.

May you have a Happy New Year, New Month, New Week, New Day and New Moment!!

pic pix: bushel of dried grass, out with old-in with the new, Okotoks, AB Dec.10

gramma day

What a joy...having a Gramma day! We got up "early" this morning to take the three hour hike up to Edmonton...me and mi familia. By the time we arrived, lunch was wafting in the air, treats were on the coffee table, Gramma was on her toes ready to give us all hugs. Warmth, love, food, and comfort...all words to describe my day. Was able to nap at my leisure and fully, truly relax. It never really feels like Christmas until we spend time with her...she is a treat!!

I need more of these Gramma days!

pic pix: my Gramma, June 2009

follow

Nearby shepherds were living in the fields, guarding their sheep at night. The Lord’s angel stood before them, the Lord’s glory shone around them, and they were terrified.

The angel said, “Don’t be afraid! Look! I bring good news to you–wonderful, joyous news for all people. Your savior is born today in David’s city. He is Christ the Lord. This is a sign for you: you will find a newborn baby wrapped snugly and lying in a manger.” Suddenly a great assembly of the heavenly forces was with the angel praising God. They said, “Glory to God in heaven, and on earth peace among those whom he favors.”
When the angels returned to heaven, the shepherds said to each other, “Let’s go right now to Bethlehem and see what’s happened. Let’s confirm what the Lord has revealed to us.” They went quickly and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in the manger. When they saw this, they reported what they had been told about this child. Everyone who heard it was amazed at what the shepherds told them. Mary committed these things to memory and considered them carefully. The shepherds returned home, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen. Everything happened just as they had been told. Luke 2:8-20

Can you imagine being one of these shepherds? Just another day, going about your business, when all of a sudden a host of angels appears in front and above you?! They were experiencing another day "at the job", when all of a sudden angels appeared before them and they dropped everything at that moment, in faith, to go and do what God was requiring was requiring for them to do...follow.

How Mary felt, how Joseph would have felt, initially finding out what their calling would be, realizing what they would have to face...and yet, regardless of how they 'felt' towards the matter, they got up and followed, willingly .

How the three wisemen knew to follow a star, for study and interest, yes, but what could have been done from where they researched every other star, at home...yet they followed.

I cannot put myself in a position that I will never be in (as one of them), but I can make a decision each and everyday to follow ...

Jesus, I thank you for your wonderful birth and for sharing the beautiful orchestration of how you
chose to come to us,
to give us free choice,
to know your love just

so that we may follow...

Jesus, I celebrate your birth today and thank you for this wonderful freedom ...

unraveling...revealing

PRELUDE for the PROCRASTINATOR

Each breathe, minute, day, and week

Is taken as it comes.

It is perceived that you don't have care in the world to rush,

Yet, the intertwined systems you 'plan to' are more than what another mind fathoms.

Started this and thats, hodepodges, and knickknacks,

Sometimes, usually, maybe, completed tomorrow.

If anything is accomplished, it is this:

You've given the organizer a collective intro.

ODE to ORGANIZERS

Though it looks like you hustle and bustle,

It is only for a time.

While everyone races to achieve within the last minute scramble,

You enjoy stirrings and busy-ness in their prime.

Many of your days are efficient and productive,

Though adventure is sometimes amiss.

The world could not do without such intricate, polished thinkers,

For even your vocabulary does not dare contain the word remiss.

pix pic: ribbons, 05.Apr.08

keep it simple

Yes ... it is really only 59 days away! With SO much to do! As I am being told by everyone, "Plans do change!" I was hoping to get my invites out before Christmas (ha!), but we could not secure our venue until this last weekend. And when you go the DIY route, things take a that little bit longer and require some creative sessions to get the ball rolling. After the invites are out, FOOD will be our next big milestone...that will not be DIY!!

Isn't that how life always goes though? Once you have accomplished one thing, you are on to the next? We wait until we finish "this" thing to get to "that", then once we finish "that" thing we want to go over "there"!! Life is a continual work in progress ... WE are continual works in progress. I sometimes forget that, and do not value what I am going through, wishing that I would have done it better to begin with. But where, oh where, does it say, "Thou shalt be perfect"?!

Especially, pulling wedding stuff together, maybe I have never anticipated perfection (as that's not even my style) but yet I expect that the deadlines I give for myself need to be met. I can start to look like my own slave driver! Though, there are so many "good" things to-do out there, lists and plans of this and that, and {heart} embellishments that can be added to nearly everything, and ... etc ... etc ... There is a day I am breathing in today that I need to focus on enjoying. A faith that is in fact, simpler than I make it ...

The Lord protects those of childlike faith ...let my soul be at rest again, for the Lord has been good to me. Psalm 116:6-7

crazy rest

WOW!! It's been a whirlwind as of late ... getting engaged, planning a wedding for February, finding a new house and starting to move, Christmas ... but, oh-so-much fun!!!

There is something about having a real peace that resonates true joy. For anyone that has known the personal struggles I have personally been through, what Matt and I have been through, our family ... it really does seem unexplainable that at this point to be where we are today ... a point of peace. Not that what has been faced has been something so terrible, but moreso, challenging. The gift of God's beautiful timing has given us an opportunity to see His blessing in in our lives. Our four years together has nurtured, strengthened, and now blossomed into one of the most beautiful pictures I have ever been a part of. To have full support of our Heavenly Father and our families has relieved this weight, my heart is so incredibly light, overjoyed, amazed.

... and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus... Philippians 4:7

I know I've mentioned this particular passage has been a 'go-to' for me through many of my life's places already and yet again, it has spoken so clearly to me lately. God has given me His peace to embrace, a point of not so much understanding the "HOW" but breathing the "NOW". It has produced peace just to breathe ...

pic pix: woods surrounding Lake Minnetonka, AB, Nov.2010