live now

It's been so long since I've had (what feels like) a chunk of time to be able to write.  Friday marked my boy's 1 month birthday.  Yes, 1 FULL month ago from when he first debuted himself out of the womb (*late* 1 month post still to come!).  We couldn't be more blessed.  Judah is such a happy, sleeping (yes, through the night!), content baby.  Just a little bit of mama bragging going on!

A bunch of new changes, habits, and routines starting over here ... it's challenging, but so refreshing.  It feels like it's been a while since I had a "new" start and the reason couldn't be more lovable!  For the longest time, it's felt like we've put off making concrete decisions (where to live, be part of a community, etc.) because of our unforeseeable future.  But lately, both Matt and I have been seeing the need to live NOW, regardless of what reworkings may take place in the 'tomorrows' to come.  The fact of the matter is, we are living right this second and not in the future.  Judah has been a good reminder of that ... like when he falls asleep, the important question of that moment ends up being, "Should I do   (insert task)   now?  Or take a nap as well?!"

It seems a lot of my days have not felt 'productive' like I used to feel.  Judah, now, makes up my day ... tending to his needs is my new "productive".  Coming from a go-go-go and do-do-do mentality, I can be hard on myself when I can't see the fruit of tasks being accomplished.  Although, with each passing day that Judah is rapidly changing and developing, I am again realizing that precious moments like these quickly evaporate and each of those seconds hold special value.  More value than a checklist being all ticked off.

As prolific as each day may or may not seem ... every single day threads into the story of our lives.  The insignificant and important worries/jobs/responsibilities of our "present", make up our story.

Sharing a morning cuddle with Ju-ju, I sing this song and want to live today as such... 

Live Now - Paul Brandt

I heard it from a newborn baby
Loud and clear in that first breath of air
I heard it when grandpa was dying
It was faintly there
Live now

I guess it really is quite that simple
Sometimes it's easier said than done
But all the cool rain does is fall down
And all the river does is run
Live now

We're not promised tomorrow
Like vapor, this these days here are fading away
Baby, this time I'm holding you is borrowed
But every second by God's grace, I'm gonna
Live now

I've learned I can't control the future
I've learned I must forgive the past somehow
Cause we are here only a moment
And life's too short not to live now

pic pix: my little lion man, 04.Jul.2012, Calgary, AB