11 December 2013

itty bit of light.

It's quiet here tonight.  The guys are all sleeping.  It's just me and the twinkle of these little lights.

Somehow, when a room is lit by little lights, it just feels more special.  A little more 'magical'.  How those strands of bulbs can fascinate me so or why(!), I am not to sure.  They bring a room ambiance.  Warmth.  A spark of enlightenment.

Growing up, I'd heard time and time again how I, as a christian, am like a little light that shines ... This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine ... I always imagined a lone candle sitting in a brass holder, bringing light wherever I went.  I knew that I always carried a bit of light with me because Jesus was with me.  Illuminating through me.  I guess that's as far as my imagery went with carrying a "little light".

Lately, for me, it's been a struggle.  Physically - I'm tired.  Emotionally - I'm drained.  Spiritually - I'm thirsty.  I guess with all the new changes around here, I haven't felt like my single candle has done a very good job of staying bright.  It's like, I've viewed my candle as the source of bringing light into any room, circumstance, or relationship.  How I've been wrong ... without even really focusing on it but just accepting a perspective I've derived from imagery in a childhood song!

When my world felt like it was falling apart (hormonally that is, just hours ago), it wasn't my brass candle holder that I turned to for illumination ... it was Father and His word.  Communicating with Him, crying out to Him, acknowledging that I couldn't function alone, and clinging to His promises - it's like I got plugged back into a socket and multiple lights got turned on.  My strand of mini lights.

For everything I was thankful for, it seemed like a bulb lit up.  For the gift of life, here on earth and eternallly, a light was turned on.  For the beauty of my situation, even though I am tired, another light began to shine.  For the burden of my problems that I never had to carry in the first place, another twinkle.

I'm unpacking this idea of letting my light(s) shine wherever I may go and staying plugged into the Source - my God - to illuminate me REGARDLESS of my current state.  Like these small little christmas lights, I too can bring a room ambiance, warmth, and enlightenment.  

So can you.

pic pix: our lit rooms, at home, Dec.2013

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