cairns

In 25 days, I will be marrying m'Love ... the man who encourages me daily, challenges me to new heights continually, protects me, loves on me, believes in what I dream to do/or become, places hope in the same Savior to direct our lives together. He knows how to make me laugh (even when I try to be stubborn not to); he listens to the 'never before said aloud' thoughts I articulate; he asks questions that make me really ponder and speak so raw-fully true; he loves me with those eyes when I'm close up or far away...

We've had the opportunity to face some hard things emotionally together. Distance and time were at one point factors, but God knew what we needed to go through and how, despite what I thought was difficult or unfair. I knew this day would come, where I could look back and say, "That all was for a reason", but honestly, I never knew how overjoyed and blessed this feeling would be. Like along a hiking trail, our story has built cairns along the way ...

We set out on a scramble this past summer ... it was the middle of July, but because of our cold spring, at some parts on the mountain, there was still waist-deep snow!! I knew once our group got narrowed down to 3 athletic men and yours truly ... that I was in for it! Not only that, but on our drive to the mountains, I was informed that we wouldn't be hiking along a path, but creating our own (scrambling to the top). I told Matt that I probably wouldn't be able to keep up, and his reply was, "No matter what, I will be with you. We'll do what we can. We'll enjoy it together." If you know me, you know that my competitive spirit is, well, impressionable ... so yes, this was hard to swallow as we had not even begun yet!

There came the point where moss met rock, rock met snow ... the first cairn. Significantly placed. It was a point we could turn around and walk back to the jeep after a 2 hour hike, or continue on up for the next few hours! What our next steps proved to be, were the most frightening yet amazing moments I have ever experienced. Scaling a mountain wall is fun ... until you look down. Being snowed and hailed on while hiking in thigh-high snow is never fun (or safe), especially when you cannot go anywhere for shelter...

That one day summed allot of what our relationship has been through ... challenge, endurance, and learning how to rely on God's strength which really is simple, pure joy. I wouldn't trade any of the sweat and tears or leaps and fears out of my memory or reality. For, just like rocks are carefully placed along the trail to mark the journey to form a cairn, so have each of the details in our lives together been.

Love ... I can't wait for the cairn building ahead!

pic pix: Mount Sparrowhawk, Spray Lakes, AB, 10.Jul.10

juggling

Sometimes, I just wish there was another 2 hours of sunlight to spend outside, another 45 minutes to meet a deadline due right now, and, as I told myself this morning, another 3 hours to sleep after the alarm clock rang! It doesn't matter how busy you get, you always want to fit in one more thing. When you have "nothing" to do, you want to find something to do. And when you're too busy, you wish you had an extra minute to put up your feet and relax. It's comical what we long for sometimes, yet, I am seeing it is more of an ignored, subtle cry we have learnt to 'live with'.

Time will continue to move on, however you spend it ... how then can you budget for it? Lately, for me, life has been a question of balance. Not that I have no idea what that equilibrium is, but rather, I need to find this "even" existence. Between work, wedding plans, quality time with God, m'Love, my family, my friends ... no time is spent rejuvenating myself, personal development gets halted, and before I know it, I don't know how I've spun through this cycle to lead me to 'tiredness'. The best way I can describe it is like a top. I spin and spin around and it seems manageable, but eventually I end up being pulled down by gravity. Everything has to stop because I am uneven after all these turns and can not balance upright.

Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance and order and rhythm and harmony.

Thomas Merton

Balance will be a forever subject I will think, write, and ponder about...it's finding the perfect symmetry of all actions - busy-ness to productivity, relaxing to procrastinating - and the equality of time quality - work, friends, family. Balance means knowing your priorities, you responsibilities, and your ambitions.

Balance, peace, and joy are the fruit of a successful life. It starts with recognizing your talents and finding ways to serve others by using them.
Thomas Kinkade

These guys have said it ... now, I gotta do it!


pic pix: m'Love balancing on a bridge, Many Springs, AB 19.Jun.10

another go, a new day

Once again, the aura envelopes us ... fresh air, new beginnings, crisp intentions ... a new year! Never have I really made resolutions for a new year, but I always anticipate this "idea" of starting anew.

A glimpse of what the year 2011 cradles for me ...

Our Wedding ...

Only 47 days to go! I can't WAIT to wake up next to him every morning, knowing that he is my husband and I am his wife ... taking hold of every moment we breathe together and discovering what our lives will become. Wish it was only 47 more minutes ... sigh!

Expanding my "Photo-World" horizons ...

Prospective business ideas are floating around (especially now with my new lil iPad!) I hope to soon share what these ideas and makings actually evolve into.

Home-making our home ...

Though, I have already moved into our new place and am starting to make it feel "homey", a part of this year will be establishing ourselves ... hosting friends and family and spending time here we will create and "make" our home.

Learning opportunities ...

My employers have graciously offered to pay for the schooling of any courses that are applicable to our field of work. I love absorbing new information, fitting more pieces of "the puzzle" together. Can't wait to dive into some new material!

Another birthday ...

You can't go through a year without hitting one of those.

Taking on new roles ...

Soon and very soon, I will be a:

Wife

Daughter-in-law

Sister-in-law

Auntie ... all persons I have never been though can't wait to officially be!

Creativity ...

I've always said, "if I only had a space where I could leave projects half-way through only to pick up again, I'd have allot more undertakings...". No longer is that an "if-only"... we have a second room that we are using as an office where I can set up for painting, drawing, paper-cutting, sewing and leaving it all where I last worked on it. I can craft anywhere, but to have this domain will be wonderful.

And though there are these things I look forward to (and more!), I believe the greatest challenge will still be to live in the moment I am in, enjoying all that today will exhibit, seizing every opportunity effectively and purposefully.

May you have a Happy New Year, New Month, New Week, New Day and New Moment!!

pic pix: bushel of dried grass, out with old-in with the new, Okotoks, AB Dec.10